Wow... looking back over the past three weeks I can honestly say that we have had the toughest, most frustrating, saddest, most shocking, and upsetting times of my three year tenure as the head soccer coach at Wabash.

Last Saturday, during the second half against Hiram College I hit bottom. I hit bottom emotionally and psychologically in a way that never happened to me before and I am sure it will never happen again.... it wasn't pretty.

Being an adult, the first individuals you want to protect and shelter when things are rough are the young ones, in this case our student/athletes. The 18 year olds who don't have, at least the majority of them, the tools to deal with a hurricane of emotions as the ones we experienced in the last part of our season. But we are all human, and we are not infallible; I definitely am not. And as I was trying to help and shield our lads from the latest events, I didn't realize that I wasn't taking any "precautions" for myself. My frustration grew game after game, my patience thinned out day after day, my focus shifted to meaningless details, and my passion, my legendary passion, left a window open for anger and negativity to creep in. And everything exploded during 45 dreadful minutes last Saturday. I just lost it.

Thankfully, I have people who care about me, who I am, and my state of mind and intervened to help me refocus, to get back my positive passion, to realize what was going on, and take necessary steps to regroup, mentally and emotionally.

One of them is my dearest wife Marcela, who knows me like no other and who understands where I come from as she has been "my partner in crime" across many soccer years, travels, jobs, games, teams, etc. and who can feel my pain every time I feel some. She always has a word of wisdom to set me "straight," and to help me cope with my fire, the one that burns inside me but also the one that sometimes engulfs me with its flames. Marcela is really my "pace setter," my balance, my best friend, and I can't even begin to describe what an incredible human being she really is, so I won't. She will always be my secret adviser and precious gem.

Another one is my Assistant, colleague, and friend Jeff who doesn't hesitate to confront me with issues, good or bad, anytime he feels we need to regroup and move forward. At times, I wonder if Jeff is really 25, as his maturity level, his understanding of life and its multiple facets goes far beyond his age. I guess that you can say Jeff is a young man with an old soul, and that's good. Good for him, his family, and whoever has the fortune to be in contact with this very talented, smart, and honorable young man, starting with myself! Jeff will be leaving us next year. He will be hard to replace and our loss will be someone else's gain, but it's time for Jeff to fly away from "home," spread his wings, and build his coaching future with other experiences, other coaches to mentor him, and other situations to manage, in preparation for what I am sure will be a stellar coaching career.

Other people who helped me quite a bit even without realizing it are some of the parents, colleagues, friends and alumni who sent me e-mails, comments, and phone calls showing me their support and appreciation for who I am and how I go about trying to educate these young men to be responsible, honorable, punctual, respectful, and accountable for everything they do.

One alumnus in particular, John Mikesell '64, sent me an e-mail that brought tears to my eyes and warmth in my heart. I don't know John personally, but I am looking forward to meeting him sometime in the near future and thanking him personally. What John wrote will always remain between the two of us (well, my wife and Jeff read it too), but his words contributed to me continuing to appreciate the kind of man I am and what I have to offer, inside.

Last but not least, my soccer players who have suffered, tremendously, at any level, during the last three weeks and who have continued to follow my leadership and work without questioning its quality and/or outcome, and who continue to appreciate me and care about me, no matter what. These young men are a special breed who are making the college, the soccer program, and of course their families very, very proud. I definitely am proud of them. I care for them and I love them.

We may not end up with the season we wanted and the results we wanted, but the past twenty days were the most important, the most significant, and the most instrumental to define our present and our future. Personally, I can only say that the events of the last few weeks and the help I received will make me a better coach, and possibly a better person. I am sure our lads experienced the same growth and feel stronger about themselves and their soccer program.

All of us truly lived up to our motto, WABASH ALWAYS FIGHTS, and the days ahead of us look great just because of that!

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Your Coach G.